Let’s talk about Sam – since he’s the reason we’re here
PRE-SAM
Samantha was born in early August 2006, a whopping 10lbs! Beautiful little face and big green eyes – we said she looked like an owl, always taking in everything around her
Samantha has always been extremely advanced – she was able to communicate very well before she turned 1. People were surprised when we would have a conversation and she would respond appropriately.
She kept her teachers busy – asking questions they couldn’t answer and telling them things they didn’t know. She preferred to hang around with the teachers because her maturity was so beyond her peers that they had nothing in common. Her teachers would tell us about her jokes and conversations and her school reports were always glowing.
She loved science, she loved LEGO, she wanted to be an astronaut and loved space. She was literally a sponge for information.
Her wit was sharp – a family joke refers to the time aged 5 that’s she made an inappropriate comment about her younger sisters love interest – Deacon and his potential last name. If you say it quick I’m sure you might get an inkling as to what it might have been.
Her humour was unparalleled- using Velcro pads to simulate giving someone a shock with a defib and yelling clear!
Her imagination without bounds – singing into a small speaker pretending it a microphone and saying
I love you, I loooveee you, I love you
And shaking her head as she did it like Celine Dion
She was a character …..
And you know what..
SAM – IS EXACTLY THE SAME!
Sam is the same person with a different appearance
So, when was it going to be time to introduce Sam. The frustration for Sam, was telling everyone every time we came across them, the same information and answering the same questions. It’s tiring – it triggers emotion it’s counterproductive to where Sam was going so a decision was made.
First – we contacted key family members. The first phone call to Aunty was hard. I trembled – Would there be ACCEPTANCE?
You’re going to read that word a lot in this blog – because it’s so important
I’ve made a lot of hard phone calls in life, I’ve had many difficult conversations but this ….this was a whole next level of awkward and bumbling!
These words were the hardest I’ve ever said
I just want to call you and tell you before we put it on Facebook publicly that Samantha is transgender and now wants to be known as Sam
You know what I heard back?
‘Oh, yeah ok we kind of figured we’d hear this one day’
What?
Yeah – apparently we were blind to what others saw, this comment was repeated through a number of other conversations too….did we really miss this? Sure she liked LEGO, space, had a messy room – had actually asked for us to make her room more ‘girly’ a few years earlier but c’mon! Were we really that blind to it?
As they say – retrospect is a great thing. Signs were there and we didn’t pay any attention to them and why would we? We’re an inclusive family – if they wanted dolls we got dolls, if they wanted a car …sure get that car – but as Sam tells us now, he felt strange asking when his sisters wanted more ‘girly’ things
The first thing Sam did was get a matchbox car when we started buying for the transitioning. I felt so horrible, I probably would have bought him a thousand just to make up for him feeling so strange back then – don’t tell him though!
So it was out amongst close family – a question I was asked is
Why are you putting it on Facebook
Well simply, the majority of our family and friends are there. I don’t allow people I don’t know to connect with me – this was a way of getting it out to everyone at once, not having to repeat it and not answering the same question 100 times.
We have the best family and friends – no one has unfriended us yet, everyone has been amazing there are some that still struggle.
The word was out, the comments came in – Sam doesn’t have Facebook but I showed him the support and comments from everyone. He was happy to know his circle was getting bigger.
Sam is loved
Transparenting 