Now that Samantha had finally been able to tell us what was happening for her – we kicked our supportive parenting up a notch because let’s face it, this child was going to face a number of challenges soon. We needed to build an inner circle – a place with high walls and mama bear guarding the doorway!
Our other 3 children – also girls, were told what was happening. They entered the inner circle and as kids are these days, accepted more easily than we did.
I have to give this generation kudo’s for that – 99% have been so very accepting of Samantha.
Our inner circle was complete – it was strong and protective and most importantly safe, a place for conversation and acceptable jokes, for tears and for love.
Around that circle was another circle
Nanny was told – and entered the circle, young Aunty was also brought in to the circle, cool uncle entered too….
Things changed for Samantha too…
A new haircut was the start. I thought I knew happiness in my kids – I was sure I’d seen it enough times to know it. That first haircut was something different – it was relief, and happiness and acceptance and validation of change.
We were starting – but then…..
When you’re trapped in the wrong body, change happens at a snails pace. You can’t magically grow an appendage or deepen your voice or have no breasts.
Baby steps, so many baby steps we reminded her. This takes time but she wanted it all now – so ultimately anger presented, frustration and disappointment.
We pushed on though – what other changes can help you
‘I want to wear the boys uniform’
*INSERT SHOCK FACE HERE!
Our school was relatively new to us and was certainly new to Samantha. How would this go down?
An appointment was made with the school guidance officer – nervous hands, shaky voices related what was happening in her life. The school was most amazingly supportive – yes you can wear the boys uniform! Yes VALIDATION/ACCEPTANCE
The next part a little more complex – it’s easy to be weirded out when talking about bathrooms – for me, mentally, envisioning my daughter enter a boys toilets was right up there on a list of potential damaging events for Samantha, not to mention the boys also, but we needn’t have worried. The school was perfect – suggesting the staff toilets be used instead *phew*
I’m sure the thought of it freaks you out too – girls/boys sharing toilets, skylarking and allowing opportunity for bullying behaviours, heck! The thought of adult transgender people using opposite toilet messes my head but I’ve come to realise this – they want to live as the opposite, they just need to use the toilet – don’t be so paranoid to think that YOU are anything special enough to send them into an opposite gender toilet for whatever perversions your head is thinking …..they need to pee too!
Now, what name do you want to use on the roll?
Hmmmmm – that’s a good question!
School has been ultimately the most supportive place – and I wish I could share with you what school but obviously that would leave Sam exposed.
Samantha was happy, and we were too
A+++
Transparenting 